DING REPORT SAMPLE
The below is the text of ding report for a Wharton application, which includes a headnote,and then running commentaries and endnotes to each question. This is sent to you after a review of the application you send us. Then you get a chance to ask questions about our notes by email, and then we can talk by phone to go over remaining questions and advice for next year.The text below is only my comments, and the questions. The actual text of the essay has been omitted for privacy reasons, but you can get a real good idea of how this kid screwed himself by just reading my comments.
SEE NOTES AND MILD INSULTS IN THE MIDDLE OF ESSAYS AND AT THE END. ESP. IN ESSAY ONE, WHICH WAS KEY.
THAT ESSAY WAS PROBL. ONE OF YOUR BETTER ONES, AND THAT ONE, AS NOTES SHOW, IS DEEPLY FLAWED. OTHERS RANGE FROM ODD (5) TO UNDERCOOKED (6 AND 4) TO OFF THE POINT, SORTA, 2.
DING NO SURPRISE. NOT ENUF HERE TO DRIVE YOU IN, AND GOALS, WHY WHARTON, ACCOUNT OF INFLUENCES, ALL SERIOUSLY FLAWED, UNDER-REPORTED, STUFF ABOUT WHY MBA, WHY NOW IS ONLY ADEQUATE AND CLICHE AND GENERALIZED EXPLANATIONS OF THINGS USED TOO OFTEN; NOTES HIGHLIGHT EXAMPLES
READ THIS OVER, AND IF QUESTIONS, EMAIL OR CALL, ALTHO I’LL BE TAKING CARE OF SOME MEDICAL STUFF TIL ABOUT APRIL 8TH OR SO, SO JUST LET THIS COOK AND GET BACK TO ME AFTER THAT.
LOOKING FORWARD, ALL THIS COULD BE EASILY IMPROVED ONCE YOU GET USED TO EXPLAINING THINGS FULLY, GIVING BETTER CONTEXT, FLESHING OUT GOALS AND INFLUENCES, ETC. ETC. ETC. STORY IS FINE, EXPERIENCES ARE OK, IT WAS JUST A MATTER OF EXECUTION.
GET THEIR FEEDBACK AND LET ME KNOW WHAT IT IS, ALTHO IT WILL TRACK, IN MUCH LESS DETAIL, AND W. SOME DIMNESS, WHAT I REPORT BELOW, WHICH BASICALLY IS THE ANSWER, ESP. COMMENTS ON FIRST ESSAY. ALTHO REST DID NOT ADD TO YOUR SCORE EITHER. STATS ETC ARE GOOD,BUT
YOU WERE NOT CLOSE THIS YEAR, IMHO, AND WENT INTO INTERVIEW ALMOST, IF NOT IN FACT, DEAD MEAT.AROUND TMRW, SO EMAIL ANY SUPER PRESSING ISSUE. IF NOT LET’S TALK IN MID APRIL. SK
Essay Question 1: Taking two years to pursue an MBA requires a considerable investment of time and resources. Please describe the path leading to your decision to pursue a Wharton MBA now. How do you expect the MBA experience to benefit you on both a professional and personal level? (1,000 words) For reapplicants, please replace this essay with the reapplication essay, below.
ESSAY ONE –READING NOTES
?????AHEM, ABRUPT AND OFFPUTTING INTRO OF THIS IDEA. CONTEXT OF WHERE THIS IS HAPPENING, WHEN, AND WHAT COMPANY IS ULCEAR, AS ARE DETAILS OF WHO THOSE DIVERSE CULTURES WERE. WHEN, WHERE
AS A SUMMARY OF PRE-GRAD SCHOOL WORK HISTORY, ABOVE IS MIDLY UNCLEAR ON BIG ISSUES OF INFLUENCES, AND ANNOYING UNCLEAR ABOUT DATES, NAMES ETC. WHICH I SPPZE WE COULD LIVE W. BUT ANNOYING.
HUH, WASNT THAT WHAT YOU WERE DOING BEFORE, SOUNDS LIKE AN EMPTY CLICHE DUNNO, ALL THE ABOVE IS HALFWAY BETWEEN SOMETHING GOOD AND A RESUME DUMP.
DUNNO, ABOVE IS SORTA HALF WAY BETWEEN A RESUME DUMP AND A GOOD ACCOUNT OF HOW FINANCE OF WHAT, WHEN, WHAT DID YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT IS SO FRIGGIN HONEST ABOUT THAT ASSESSMENT, IT IS RATHER CLICHED AND DOES NOT SEEM TO GROW OUT OF WHAT YOU HAVE DONE, ALL THAT MUCH.
THIS IS LIKE A NEAR MISS, IT IS CLICHED, SORTA IMPERSONAL, NOT GROWING ENUF OUT OF STUFF WE HAVE HEARD ABOUT YOU IN ANY DETAIL, AND A LITTLE ROBOTIC. NEED TO BE A LITTLE MORE DETAILED ABOUT THAT, NAME ACTUAL JOBS. AND FUNCTIONS. THAT SEEMS A LEAP, AND WE ARE UNPREPARED FOR IT. YEAH, WELL IT WOULD HAVE BEEN BETTER TO DEVELOP THAT OUT STORIES YOU TOLD ABOVE AS PART OF YOUR PATH TO AN MBA, INSTEAD OF JUST LISTING IT HERE,IN SOME UNCONVINCING AND FORMALIST WAY.
ALWAYS A HARD PART OF THE APP TO BE HONEST ABOUT, BUT YOUR VERSION IS MORE INSINCERE AND UNCONVINCING THAN MOST.
ABOVE IS GENERIC, AND ALHTO ‘TRUE’ TO A DEGREE, IN LIGHT OF BAD VIBES WE ALREADY GOT FROM ESSAY SO FAR, WHICH IS ALSO PRONE TO CLICHE AND LACK OF DETAIL, IMPERSONALITY, ETC. IT REALLY BEGINS TO RUN ONE THE WRONG WAY. DITTO!! IN SPADES ACTUALLY.
DUH, YEAH, BUT WHICH DO YOU WANT TO BELONG TO? AND WHY?? AGAIN, LAME.
ESSAY ONE –ENDNOTES
CLOSE, AND PARTS OK, BUT SEVERAL WEAKNESSES–CLICHES, LACK OF SPECIFITY, LACK OF PASSIONATE AND DETAILED EXAMPLES, SOME JUMPY TRANSITIONS, VAUGE GOALS ETC. SINK THIS ALTHO PARTS ARE OK. WHAT HAPPENS, AS NOTES HOPEFULLY MAKE CLEAR, IS THAT ONCE READER BEGINS TO GET ANNOYED, EVEN STUFF THAT IS SO-SO, E.G. WHY WHARTON, BEGINS TO FESTER, SO AFTER A SPRIGHTLY START, THIS KEEPS GETTING WORSE, AND FINALLY ANNOYING, AND YOU WILL BE TAGGED, IN FEEDBACK W. UNCLEAR GOALS, LACK OF WHY NOW, NO SENSE OF WHAT W. CAN REALLY DO FOR YOU, UNCLEAR INFLUENCES, ESP. HOW TECH AND FINANCE PARTS OF YOUR LIFE FIT IN, ETC. ALL OF WHICH IS TRUE. ALSO YOU OMIT KEY PERSONAL GROWTH MANTRAS –WORK LIFE BALANCE, ETHICS, MENTORS, ALL STUFF THEY LIKE TO HEAR ABOUT . NOT FATAL, BUT IT ALL ADDS UP.
ESSAY TWOEssay Question 2: Describe when you were a part of a team where the group process and/or intended outcome failed. What was your role, how did you contribute to the process or outcome, and what did you learn? (500 words) HUH, SET UP OF WHO THESE PEOPLE ARE IS CONFUSING A BIT AS IS YOUR ROLE, WHO APPOINTED YOU BOSS AND WHY ARE YOU KNOCKING HEADS.
ESSAY TWO ENDNOTES:DUNNO MAN, POSSIBLY GOOD SITUATION, BUT YOU DIFFICULITES BECOME SIT COM LIKE AND WE SEE NO REAL EFFORTS ON YOUR PART TO ANALYSZE, PARTICULARIZE, OR CAPTURE WHAT WAS REALLY GOING ON, WHO WAS INVOLVED BEYOND CLICHE TYPES OF OBSESSIVE PERSON, REGULAR GUY, ETC. NO SENSE OF DIFFEREENT COMMUNICATION STYLES, DIFFERENT CULTURAL BACKGRONDS RESULTING IN TEAM DYSFUNCTION, SURE THERE IS PLENTY OF DYSFUNCTION BUT IT IS ALL CLICHE. SECOND HALF OF THIS IS TOTAL BS, AND UNRELATED TO ANY PARTICULARS YOU CAPTURE ABOUT GROUP MEMBERS AND THIS REAL SITUATION.
ESSAY THREEEssay Question 3: Describe an impact you’ve had on an individual, group or organization. What did you do? How has this experience been valuable to you or others? (500 words) OH, HOW ABOUT PUTTING THIS, IF IT REALLY HAPPENED, IN FIRST ESSAY. HUH, CONTEXT IS UNCLEAR,AND IDEA THAT YOU WOULD BE GIVEN SUCH A MAJOR LEADERSHIP ROLE ,E.G. TO FORM YOUR OWN TEAM, ON A HI-PROFILE AND EXPERIMENTAL PROJECT, WELL, IT STRAINS CRUDILITY, THIS HAS EXAGGERATION AND BULLSHIT WRITTEN ALL OVER IT. HOW MANY PEOPLE, WHO??? WHO MADE YOU BOSS, WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE, THIS IS SOME WET DREAM. WHO WERE THESE MEMEBERS, THE PHD’S??? OR THE NEW TEAM OF YOUR PEERS???? IT IS JUST CONFUSING. ET.C HOW?????THIS IS A MORE FRUITFUL OBSTACLE TO TALK ABOUT. PHEW THAT IS PRETTY LAME TAKE AWAY HOW WE DONT REALLY GET ENUF DETAIL ABOUT THAT WHAT? WE DONT GET A FEELING FOR YOUR LEADERSHIP STYLE OR WHAT THE REAL OBSTACLES WERE
SITUATION, METRICS OF THE GROUP, GROUP DYNAMICS, ETC. ARE ALL OPAQUE AND ANNOYING AS DISCUSSED, TOO MUCH A VICTORY LAP ( AND BARELY CREDIBLE AS STATED) AND NOT ENUF AN ANALYSIS OF HOW YOU WERE EFFECTIVE IN MEETING OBSTACLES 1 2 3 4 AND WHAT YOU LEARNED FROM EXERCISNG THOSE STYLES OF LEADERSHIP AND TEAMWORK.
Essay Question 4: Describe a situation where your values, ethics or morals were challenged. How did you handle the situation? (500 words)
SITUATION IS SORTA OK, ALTHO SOMETHING OF A STUNT, SINCE YOU DID NOT REALLY HAVE TO DO ANYTHING, BUT IT DOES PRESENT DILEMMA IN DRAMATIC WAY, A BETTER ANSWER WOULD HAVE SHOWN YOU GRAPPLING W. SAME ISSUE IN A MORE ORGANIZED AND SERIOUS WAY, E.G. HOW YOU WORKED OUT A COMPENSATION FORMULA FOR KIDS AND ADULTS LIKE THAT WHO GET UNEMPLOYED AS A RESULT OF DO-GOODER STUFF, AND WHO YOU CONSULTED, WHAT YOUR THOUGHT PROCESS WAS, ETC. ETC.
Essay Question 5: Please identify and explain what you would consider the weakest area of your application. (250 words)
HUH, THAT IS WHAT THE FIRST ESSAY IS FOR, AND NOT A BIG DEAL, QUITE FRANKLY. WHT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, IT IS NOT AN OPTION NOW EITHER IF I AM READING FIRST ESSAY CORRECTLY CONFUSING AND ODD, AM I MISSING SOMETHING, WHAT EXACTLY ARE YOU EXPLAINING AWAY.
Essay Question 6: Please tell us something else about yourself that you feel will help the Admissions Committee know you better. (250 words)
GOOD CONTENT POTENTIAL, SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN RIGHT INTO IT, OR MAYBE INCORPORATED INTO ESSAY ONE, OR IF HERE, NEED TO KNOW MORE ABOUT REALATIONSHIP W. THIS KID, AND ESP. WHAT RAMP IS ABOUT, AND WHAT YOU HAVE ACCOMPLISED THERE.